new uncharted territory

I have missed attending the temple as my attendance there has slowly dwindled in the last two years. It used to be our habit to attend each Saturday at 6:00 am. But as I grew increasingly ill, we attended less and less. Falling asleep during the session is frowned upon, and I feel so guilty letting out a little snore now and then.

Many are the blessing I previously received in the house of the Lord. They have caused me joy and comfort in the midst of daily toil and enabled me to enlarge my faith in God, knowing He would guide and sustain me. Because my dear sweet Katie was sealed to her father and me upon birth, her death and separation from us has been bearable. Yes, we miss her dreadfully and mark the missed milestones of her life with bittersweet tenderness. But we know we will see our dear one again. It was God's will that she join Him again beyond the veil, and we have learned a great deal from the experience. We have a reason to live extremely well and rejoice in the knowledge that all of our children are sealed to us Eternally.

Now that I am journeying through this new uncharted territory, I feel a need to draw closer to God once more. I yearn for the peace I gain by attending the temple regularly. Again I will commit to attend the temple weekly nothing wavering. However, I don't think it will be the 6:00 am session.

After listening to Elder Scott yesterday rehearse similar trials to my own and suggest that he never complains, I understand a need to change some of my ways. Surely, I might tell others of my struggles and the developments in my recovery or lack thereof, but I must thank God for trusting me with this new test. When we live righteously, everything else is in the hands of the Lord. We can do the best we can, but the final outcome is up to Him.