ear plugs and a fan

I do believe this is the hardest thing I have ever done. Since my MIL is in the throws of dementia and my FIL is quite crippled up with arthritis, we are here to help the best we can. The trouble is--I can't sleep--I need quite. Outside our bedroom window, cars zoom past day and night. Inside the house the television blares it's dooms-day message at high volume nearly 24 hours a day. Seattle is having record high temps, and the air in the tightly sealed house is stifling.

So here I am trying to serve them, and I am of little use. At first I thought it was because of my condition, which it may partially be. But last night it dawned on me that I have had zero deep sleep for over a week.

The whole thing frustrates me. It was my intent to be a profitable servant. Instead I drag around in a daze making them dinners of grilled cheese and fruit instead of homemade lazagne.

This must change! Tomorrow I'll go buy some cleaning supplies--that's right there are none in the house. Then I'll get the place spic and span. I'll plan a menu and shop for food. Then I'll proceed to cook, as I usually do and not ask them what they want. They always eat heartily at my house. Here they pick at the food they ask for. Maybe this change will help. Oh and tonight--I'll sleep with ear plugs and a fan.