goals become habits...maybe

I have this way of shooting myself in the foot. I make goals, such as I did at the New Year. Then I procrastinate them away until they don't exist. Monday is the New Half Year, a holiday I just made up. I've decided to make half goals, no, not resolutions. That sounds way too finite. I think I'll go on a picnic to celebrate my holiday.

Yesterday, I found a great tool to help with making goals into habits, which I want to share with you. It has been said that the best way to rid yourself of bad habits is to replace them with good ones. President Joseph Fielding Smith taught us: “Habits are easily formed. It is just as easy to form good habits as it is to form evil ones” (New Era, July 1972, p. 23). How is this done?

In the past, I think I've overwhelmed myself with goals in every area of my life. I need to improve in so many things. With this approach, I stress myself out and end up accomplishing very little. This time I'll focus one or two things at a time. Less is more if I can actually finish.

“Good habits are not acquired simply by making good resolves, though the thought must precede the action. Good habits are developed in the workshop of our daily lives. It is not in the great moments of test and trial that character is built. That is only when it is displayed. The habits that direct our lives and form our character are fashioned in the often uneventful, commonplace routine of life. They are acquired by practice” (Delbert L. Stapley, in Conference Report, Oct. 1974, p. 25; or Ensign, Nov. 1974, p. 20).

So what do I want to work on most? Hmmmm......I need to write everyday--no, I already do that. I need to exercise consitantly--yes, but I'm not ready for that. I want to be more consistent with my night time routine--soak in a soothing bath, brush and floss teeth, wash face, say prayers before bed. On my pink bookmark, I'll write evening routine on the habit line. Since I want to celebrate New Half Year, my starting date will be June 1.Now for the important part, every night I must keep track of my progress every day. I could use the cool bookmarks I linked to above. I could mark off days on the calendar. Or I could report in this journal daily. I think I'll use the book mark and then report when I've successfully turned my goal into a habit. I won't beat myself up if I need to start the 21 day cycle over. I'll pray for help. Then when I'm done, I'll reward myself with something pretty and pink for the bath.

"Do not try merely to discard a bad habit or a bad thought. Replace it. When you try to eliminate a bad habit, if the spot where it used to be is left open it will sneak back and crawl again into that empty space. It grew there; it will struggle to stay there. When you discard it, fill up the spot where it was. Replace it with something good. Replace it with unselfish thoughts, with unselfish acts. Then, if an evil habit or addiction tries to return, it will have to fight for attention. Sometimes it may win. Bad thoughts often have to be evicted a hundred times, or a thousand. But if they are to be evicted ten thousand times, never surrender to them. You are in charge of you. I repeat, it is very, very difficult to eliminate a bad habit just by trying to discard it. Replace it” (Boyd K. Packer, “To the One,” in Speeches of the Year, 1978 [Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1979], p. 39).

This idea works well with school aged children. Charlotte Mason said, “The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days; while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with the children.” An evening routine is a good place to start, but we can also help them develop character. Character is how you act or your habits. Teaching your children to develop habits of obedience, truthfulness, attentiveness, or kindness, or tidyness, you improve the atmosphere of your home and insure the child's successful future.

"Some of us may feel from time to time that some of [the Lord’s] commandments are an impediment to happiness in this life, but this isn’t so; and deep down in our hearts we all know that so long as we adhere to these commandments, just as surely as night follows day, we will reap the blessings that are promised to the faithful. Remember, the Lord said: ‘I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise’ (D&C 82:10)” (O. Leslie Stone, in Conference Report, Oct. 1979, p. 105; or Ensign, Nov. 1979, p. 73).