then am I strong

“My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Over the last several years, since I began having major trials and struggling with chronic illness, I've tried to stay positive. Fit, healthy, and together people are better able to serve their families and God. I feel a bit impotent at times in my quest to serve and achieve, especially since acquiring my illness.

Through studying the scriptures, I gain much strength. God inspired the words of prophets through the ages so that today I might be comforted through His words. This illness and other difficult events have caused me to learn that He loves me on a deeply personal level. After all, He is my Heavenly Father. When I remember my source of peace and drink deeply from it's depths, I am comfortable living my life's slower pace. I can stop competing with everyone around me, love them through God's eyes, and discover my true path.

I still have dreams and goals, but they seem to be more in line with God's will. In my strong willed way, I have resisted living according to said will. A bit rebellious, I was compelled through a series of tragedies and this illness to be humbled. I know I can be made strong only be accepting and submitting, yes even taking pleasure in my infirmities and distresses. God is performing a mighty work in me that brings peace if I let it.

“But learn that he who doeth the works of righteousness shall receive his reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come.” Doctrine and Covenants 59:23