For a long time, I've been confused about an issue. Many Christian men use the Fall as an excuse to dominate women. "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Genesis 3:16 It never seemed to fit with another of God's statements. "Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons" Acts 10:34 Meaning, He sees us as equals.
“I have a question about the word rule. It gives the wrong impression. I would prefer to use the word preside because that’s what he does. A righteous husband presides over his wife and family” (Spencer W. Kimball, “The Blessings and Responsibilities of Womanhood,” Ensign, Mar. 1976, 72). This implies partnership instead of dominance. Our Savior wants husbands to use charity to influence their wives and children, as He, Jesus, would do.
"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body." Ephesians 5:23
“God has revealed through his prophets that men are to receive the priesthood, become fathers, and with gentleness and pure, unfeigned love they are to lead and nurture their families in righteousness as the Savior leads the Church.” (M. Russell Ballard, “Equality through Diversity,” Ensign, Nov. 1993, 90).
But things have gotten so twisted in this world. Women, after many generations of attending The Humanistic Church of the World aka government school system, have been brainwashed into adopting humanist and feminist ideals. Women don't need men and do just fine on their own. Women are better and smarter than men. Women must fight for their rights. These attitudes have messed us up. Instead of working to form a partnership of equals with defined roles, we fight with and drive our husbands out the door. Assertiveness is only a thinly disguised form of contention. Ding, dong the witch is dead. Or at least she will be, when she finally opens her eyes to the damage she has done to the family. Somehow the image of the assertive feminist does not seem in keeping with the pure love of Christ, charity.
Certainly, there are men equally as guilty of destroying the family. They buy into the macho "ruler" mentality without understanding the true meaning of this command. Christ does not rule or lead the church as a iron-fisted tyrant but with His pure love. Likewise, men who insist, "it's my way or the highway," often get the highway, separating them from those they forgot to love in their quest to by right. They stand along the roadside, bewildered at how they got kicked out of the car. Or they climbed out of the car in despair. Who would want to work hard for a witch.
The only way we will save the family is if we all adopt an attitude of Christ-like charity towards each other. "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth..." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
I've been thinking about this too lately. As I've studied the Old Testament and the Fall, I can't help but think that we as women do tend to make decisions without using the partnership God gave us, that of our spouses, so God blessed us with a command to have our desire be to our husband. I see this as a unifying and strengthening thing, not one that pits one sex against another...
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't misunderstand. It's when we unify that it is a partnership. Only when we contend and struggle against each other that it pits on sex against another.
ReplyDeleteYes, that is what I meant. When we place our desire to our husband as that scripture says, and counsel with him, it unifies us. When we take on our own counsel (and often try to cajole our husband's into what we want), that is what pulls us apart. I think women have a natural tendency to take things upon themselves, and we need to learn to counsel with our husbands. We might not always like his counsel, but in the process of coming together on our decisions, we are built up. Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteI think women often have the idea that we know best (I fall into this far too often), and when we make decisions without the input of our husbands (or without his blessing), we miss a great opportunity to have possibly been able to make our choice a better one. I personally see that this is one area in my life that I need to grow at. I feel blessed that I am learning it, and striving for it.