This talk was bittersweet for me at the other end of the tunnel. I was a very naive young woman. At 18 I was ready to conquer the world with my new husband. Well, at least my little corner of it. I wanted to keep the commandment to 'multiply and replenish the earth' in great numbers. I was a very naive young woman. At 18 I was ready to conquer the world with my new husband. Well, at least my little corner of it. I wanted to keep the commandment to 'multiply and replenish the earth' in great numbers. "Many voices in the world today marginalize the importance of having children or suggest delaying or limiting children in a family."
In those days, I never listened to the voice of the world. I loved my job as homemaker and mother most of the time, when my children were very small. As my children ventured out into the world, they brought home hurtful little tidbits they heard from neighbors. My extended family loudly voiced their disgust and concerns. Complete strangers commented on my very closely spaced stair-steps. The worst and strangely most oft heard rude comment was, 'don't you know how they get here?' Why did people do this? Didn't their mothers teach them any manners? I didn't judge their choices; why did they think it was OK to verbally judge mine? So I withdrew from society during the very time of life, when I needed family and community most.
"Having young children is not easy. Many days are just difficult. A young mother got on a bus with seven children. The bus driver asked, 'Are these all yours, lady? Or is it a picnic?'
'They’re all mine,' she replied. 'And it’s no picnic!'" To me it was a beautiful magical time of life. The energy and love I received from my little brood of 'only' children was payment enough. It wasn't a picnic, it was a feast. While I longed for companionship with adults, I contented myself with teaching and loving my little people.
Financially, the whole thing was a struggle. We'll never have marbled halls, because all our marble was invested in lessons and dentists and ER visits and craft supplies and soap and games and shoes and clothes and books and toys and mountains of food. Sure it would have been fun to have a cute magazine home, lots of nice things, and never a thing out of place, but through faith we chose something else.
Adam and Eve bore their children in faith, sorrow, and joy, too. "It was not in the Garden of Eden that Adam and Eve bore their first child. Leaving the garden, 'Adam [and Eve] began to till the earth. … Adam knew his wife, and she [bore] … sons and daughters, and [acting in faith] they began to multiply and to replenish the earth.'
Later, as our children moved into adolescence, our idealic world crumbled. Our Katie died an unexpected, violent, tragic death, which shook the faith of all in our home. Some fell with a mighty fall. Our picture perfect family splintered in pieces. With everyone scattering and all, I dearly wanted to have more children to once again feel the joy of the early days and give our youngest the experiences of a large family. They never came. God had other plans for us. "We cannot always explain the difficulties of our mortality. Sometimes life seems very unfair—especially when our greatest desire is to do exactly what the Lord has commanded."
Faith again was necessary to move forward and pick up the pieces. I realized something the other day. Having children is something like bringing home a new kitten or puppy. They are so cute and sweet, but they grow up with or without guidance. Our children grow up into independent, thinking, self-efficient adults. While this is good and desirable, it doesn't come without a bit of or a lot of struggle. It is hard to imagine during the early years that they may make mistakes. However, they will ALWAYS need their parents to love and support them, as they move through life. On some level, I didn't know I was signing up for adults--I always thought they would remain in the parent pleasing years. This obvious weakness of mine is slowly becoming a strength.
Faith again was necessary to move forward and pick up the pieces. I realized something the other day. Having children is something like bringing home a new kitten or puppy. They are so cute and sweet, but they grow up with or without guidance. Our children grow up into independent, thinking, self-efficient adults. While this is good and desirable, it doesn't come without a bit of or a lot of struggle. It is hard to imagine during the early years that they may make mistakes. However, they will ALWAYS need their parents to love and support them, as they move through life. On some level, I didn't know I was signing up for adults--I always thought they would remain in the parent pleasing years. This obvious weakness of mine is slowly becoming a strength.
"What a wonderful blessing we have to receive sons and daughters of God into our home." The joy and pain of this experience has been exceptional at both ends of the scale. Sometimes I wonder if I would do it again, knowing what I know now. I would!
