"Beam-ectomy should precede all mote micro-surgery. Just saying." Ginger Conrad paraphrasing Jesus Christ.

Paradigm Shift

“The list of health problems I think it would very hard to live with is SO much longer than the list of foods I previously thought I couldn’t live without,” Merrill Alley.

Monday, September 2, 2013

common ground

"Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." Philippians 2:4

Paul might have said. You don't always need to be center stage or have the last word. Others thoughts and accomplishments are important, too. No, compromising standards when based on the gospel of Jesus Christ isn't what I mean. "O that thou mightest be like unto this valley, firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord!" 1 Nephi 2:10. Other big issues like finances, children, in-laws, education, religion, and so forth can't just be swept under the rug.

Interestingly, biblical James tells us to handle disputes with the same language used to describe Christ's character in 1 Corinthians 13. "Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.But if ye have bitter envying and astrife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace, " James 3:13-18. It is OK and even a great choice to talk things out, to let go of pride, to not fight to be 'right,' to negotiate, to compromise, to make a situation one where everyone can win at least a little.

Steven Covey was the one who opened my eyes to the idea of win-win. Of course he learned it from the scriptures, but he wrote his most famous books for a secular world ignorant of Christian teachings. Win-lose makes enemies of those we love best. However, the time to object to a certain idea isn't in front of the children or employees. If an agreement cannot be found because more info is needed or one person is too passionate to weigh the issue, it is best to shelf the problem until later. If an immediate answer is needed, the answer is no.

It is wonderfully freeing to give up pride and contention to find common ground.