While conflict is inevitable, contention is not. "And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand," Mark 3:25.
Pride, anger, and selfishness are choices that lead to contention. Charity (the pure love of Christ) does the opposite. Softening the heart and seeing the other person as Heavenly Father does allows a person to defuse or walk away from contention.
"For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another," 3 Nephi 11:29.
"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath," James 1:19.
"And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" Matthew 7:3
"A soft banswer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger," Proverbs 15:1
If a person feels righteous indignation and justification to 'tell' another their need to repent or why they are wrong, it is time to step back and as if the devil is tempting one toward pride, anger, or selfishness. It is likely so. Those with pure, true, Christ-like love are ever so patient, kind, generous, unobtrusive, modest, serene, quiet, open-minded, and willing to listen. Lack of pride allows this one to capitulate to the ideas of another to negotiate, compromise, and come up with dynamic solutions that work for everyone.
