This week I studied the sermon Drawing Closer to God by Terence M. Vinson. All quotes are from that sermon unless otherwise noted.
"Members of this Church are entitled to, and many receive, a spiritual witness and make sacred covenants to follow the Lord. Yet despite that, some move toward Him while others do not. In which category are you? God should be the center of our universe—our literal focal point. Is He? Or is He sometimes far from the thoughts and intents of our hearts? 'For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart? Mosiah 5:13.' Notice that it’s not just the thoughts of our hearts that are important but the “intents.” How do our behavior and actions reflect the integrity of our intents? Our son Ben, when he was 16 and speaking in stake conference, asked the question, “How would you feel if someone promised you something every week and never kept the promise?” He continued, “Do we take seriously the promise we make when we partake of the sacrament and covenant to keep His commandments and always remember Him?”
This idea gave me plenty to think about this week. What is the center of my universe? I'd say at times it is my Creator, but, at other times, the cares of the world crowd Him out. While studying scripture, praying, and so forth help keep God in the forefront of life, sometimes trials and temptations and tiredness block Him out.
"...rather than solve the problem Himself, the Lord wants us to develop the faith that will help us rely upon Him in solving our problems and trust Him. Then we can feel His love more constantly, more powerfully, more clearly, and more personally."
Lately, I've been considering the miracles that have occurred in my life. Why is it that I've been so blind? Why is it that I've spent so much time feeling sorry for myself. I have a daughter that is a beautiful vocalist and was verbal from a very young age, yet she is nearly deaf. Somehow she learned to read lips and had us all fooled that she could hear. How is it she can sing like an angel? I have a son that was cured of chiari malformation through a priesthood blessing. He should be suffering debilitating head aches and more. Yet, he is a brilliant computer programmer and writer. I've been guided and taught and helped with many problems. Other of my children have been helped with trials and troubles. It just keeps coming, yet my eyes have been shut to these blessings for so long. Because I need the mental helping hand, I'll keep my eyes open.
"Our Savior wants us to really love Him to the point that we want to align our will with His. We can then feel His love and know His glory. Then He can bless us as He wants to...He is always near, especially in sacred places and in times of need; and sometimes, when I least expect, I feel almost like He taps me on the shoulder to let me know He loves me. I can return that love in my own imperfect way by giving Him my heart..."